2nd year in Ph.D. journey

Just went I thought the first year was hard. Second year was the happiest and the saddest year as a researcher.

It was happiest because I truly realized how much I love research and how much I want to be in this world. Two classes completely changed my perspective. One was an advanced epidemiology methods class, and another was a sociology class. Two classes sit at the opposite end of spectrum; yet two classes gave me the most inspiration as a researcher. The method class taught me the beauty of epidemiology and endless possibilities in learning and applying knowledge as an epidemiologist. The sociology class taught me it’s not what you talk about it but how you talk about topics that might seem controversial and uncomfortable is the first step in making any changes. Most of all, I feel truly grateful to have met a group of researchers who inspired me, encouraged me, and most of all be patient with me.

It was saddest because the research world that I felt in love with was shaken to its core. Years of mistrust and ignorance of two very different worlds have finally paid its price – a brutal attack of one another. It’s sad to watch this phenomenon unfolding right in front of my eyes because I have experienced these two worlds. I know why this divide is happening, but I can’t help myself thinking, ‘Could anything have prevented this from ever happening?’ or ‘Is it something that should have surfaced so that everyone can see this divide?’ I will never know the answer to this question. But one thing I know is that the world I want to create in my future, I hope I don’t contribute to this divide. Instead, I hope I get to mend this divide.  

As I start my third year as a Ph. D student, I know one thing for sure, it is going to be the most challenging year in navigating this new reality. I have to be as wise as serpents and innocent as doves.